Sunday, November 30, 2014

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

Sometimes what we learn and who
we become in the process of waiting
is even more important than what
we're waiting for.











Thank you for all the prayers
and love sent on my last post.
 
My Pappaw is still hanging
on. While his mind and body are
about gone his vitals still remain
strong and he has a heck of a grip!
He was a man who worked hard his
whole life and while so many are
ready for him to have peace God
has his own time table.
 
I'm not sure he knew I was there
taking care of him, but I would
like to think he did. I do know
that he smiled when I was talking
to him and I am humbled to have
been able to care for someone
who has meant so very much
to me. Living to be 96 1/2 years
old is an amazing accomplishment
and while death is not easy, in
fact it can be quite hard and cruel,
I am thankful to have had him
in my life this long.
 
I flew home this weekend
since hospice said it could
be a few more weeks and I have
a family here that needs me.
I did learn a few things this
past week, I am stronger than
I thought I was,  I have more
patience than I realized, I will
make sure I have a living will
because your wishes must be
written down, and compassion
and love from others makes
a sad situation a little better.
Even in dying my Pappaw is
still teaching me things.
I am forever changed.
 
Much love,
Tracey
XO
 
 
 



18 comments:

  1. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Tracey. Many hugs sent your way.

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  2. You have been on my mind Tracey. I love that even in his last days he is still teaching you - so beautiful. You are in my prayers.

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  3. smiles mean everything.....he knew. blessings, friend.

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  4. We never get too old to learn from our loves ones, do we? He knew and felt you there as love has a way of breaking through some of the greatest barriers. My thoughts and prayers will all of you.

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  5. Continuing to pray for you and yours. <3

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  6. oh this hurts like heck to read.....I went thru the same last time this year. You are both in my prayers and thoughts Tracey, not an easy time.
    Love and hugs.

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  7. Oh Tracey, I know how hard this must be for you. My grandma whom I adored, passed away a few years ago. It was such a struggle for her towards the end and we all came to realize just how important a living will is. I do believe he knew you were there! Hugs to you!

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  8. You haven't left my thoughts Tracey. Sending hugs. xo

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  9. How do we let go of someone that has given so much of themselves to us? How to let go and let God be the one that that decides since it is His timetable after all? No , it is not easy for us. Especially when our love is so strong. My prayers are with you Sweet Tracey... May His Peace be with you throughout this time. much love, mari

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  10. What a difficult time, especially during the holiday and having to be away from your family.

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  11. Dear Tracey, You have been in my thoughts and prayers frequently this last little while. These are such wise words you share here and yes, God certainly does have his own time table. 96 1/2 is such an accomplishment, wow. Isn't it wonderful to think that all your Pappaw's years here have been counted as a blessing by you? Big hugs to you. xoxo

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  12. Tracey, he did know you were there! And you visited him at the perfect time-I am happy that you were able to be there for him and your family. Still praying for you! Glad you are home safely and taking care of your own family. May peace be with you during advent!

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  13. Oh Tracey, much love to you. ((hug))

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  14. Oh what beautiful images and words! Sending love and light Tracey.

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  15. So eloquent. I learn from you every time you post, Tracey. Thank you. xo

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  16. These are reflective observations you have become aware of in this short time. You are strong. While he may not have been aware of you there, no doubt your love was like an enveloping hug of comfort.

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  17. Sorry I missed this post a few days back, I haven't been on much. 96, what a wonderful amount of time spent on Earth. I'm so happy you got to be with him, connecting even in silence. I do believe he knew...

    Sending you hugs and prayers. xo

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